and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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