If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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