I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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