New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
