You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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