So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Randomize
