You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
