Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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