I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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