the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
