she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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