It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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