I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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