So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
