I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
