Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
