similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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