East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
