i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
