Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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