Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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