I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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