if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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