she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
