HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
