I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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