Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
