brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
