You're so nebulous sometimes
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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