i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
