I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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