Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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