My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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