Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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