somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
