You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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