She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
What a dumb baby whore.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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