I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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