That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
