he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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