It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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