I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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