Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
