ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
