alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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