I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Panties = found
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
