used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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