how can u be prego again
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
