That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
