he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He? As in you personified your dick?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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